090706

2009-05-14T11:58:00.001+08:00

hey people,
im done living in the diary,
im done expressing it out in the diary.
so now im moving on to LJ.

will tag you guys my new link.
will be deleting this blog by this weekend.

i dont see a need for me to recall and remember the awful past.

love y'all.

2009-03-31T01:04:00.001+08:00

hi darlings,
i've moved to diary.com.

2009-03-29T03:00:00.004+08:00

i just wanted to be happy.
no pressure.no too big for a responsibility.
whts the point of returning where i couldnt find happiness?
whts the point of trying so hard?
when all of you treat others well but not me?

i was only trying to let you learn,be independent and not being such a nuisance?
do u think im an outsider?

im mad because i care and it hurts me alot.
they didnt teach you well,
but im trying to help too.
because i care.

but maybe when i go away someday,
i hope you guys will realised it.
how much i was trying to help to make your lives better.

maybe i should change.
for the better.
i dont care if you dont appreciate me.
but deep down,
i care.
co i love you all very much.
and im sorry if i was very harsh,
but its for your own good.

Ya Allah,berikanlah aku kekuatan.
ampunilah dosa mereka.
amin.

2009-03-26T01:07:00.001+08:00

i just wanted to share with you some old memories.
im sleeping with a bucket of tears.
i think i broke my heart.

=)
im fine.

2009-03-25T22:58:00.002+08:00

is it hard to make everyone happy?
do i have to sacrifice what i need?
do i have to comply of others need?

i cant do things that i want,
i have to make others happy,
i will get stress if im too busy and not being able to split my time,
i get nagging everywhere.
i have to clear up every single stupid mess which i didnt do,
when all i want to come back,

is just comfort.simply comfort.

2009-03-24T04:53:00.002+08:00

its 5am in the morning
and its the 5th time in a row im staying wide awake.
probably
i will go for a jog later.

hubby will be mad at me.

its been a month im at home doing nothing
i think its time to re-charge.
since i know that there will be no more holidays so i figured out that maybe i make full use of my last teen years of holidays in my education life.

netweight has been very on the ball
and we ald got new projects coming up.

ouh yuh.
i need a job.

and this is my last lap
my last to prove it right
that i can make it through
and i will get what i want.
insyaallah.

i know FYP is gonna give me a hard time but hubby will und .
hubby will support me no matter what.

ok.
i just make a strawberry sandwich and cup of soyabean.
happy breakfast. and good morning everyone.

and one more thing,
enjoy.

2009-03-21T00:49:00.004+08:00

im zombified at home.
hubby is out of town and im lifeless.

luckily agno call me out
if not i think im going berserk.

thanks agno for the night out.
i had a peace of mind now.
will do it again.and again and again.
heeeeeeeeeeeee(nad res's laugh)

hubby was online
and i didnt know it.
and i spend the last 5mins and end up crying
haha.
i know.
crybaby.
hehehehehehe

i blog hop to get my mind off some things in my head.
then i read beda's blog.

----To my dearest friend beda,----
i am always the same babe.
always.
i am attached.
but i am more attached to you.
but we can always hang out.
both of us are always a msg away.

you are right.
our sec days had a big impact in my life.
you can always count on me.
talk to me like before.
gossip mcm zaman hantu blackie.
ketawa sampai sakit perut,golek2 atas lantai.
you are the one who make me realised that i can pull through any problems in life because i was so inspired by you.
you know what i mean kn?

and you know what,
I MISS YOU LIKE ALOT ALOT ALOT tau.
we shud catch up with the old times.
cuma sometimes i feel distance from u coz it seems that you are very busy with sch and drama and sur
and i dont dare to call u out.
i wouldnt want to hinder you from other commitments.
and as for me,
my time with ahmad pun is becoming lesser.
i seldom went out with him ald.
most of my waking hours is staying overnight in sch or at home just to rush for deadlines.

i admit
i have been missing you and our times together alot for 1 year ald.
i think we need to go out ald.
hahaha
for our childhood friendship that we have before.=)

and remember,
i am always single when im with you.=)

hahahahahah
he wont mind.
he knows im joking abt the single part.

2009-03-19T21:49:00.005+08:00

reading the twilight sequels,
have made me realised about life.
it is fun to live in fantasy ONCE in a while,

i love to indulge myself with the love between Edward & Bella.
but i realised its just a magical dream
a magic that lies within deep deep within our hearts
that sometimes we longed for that rush of emotions.

hubby,
im sorry if im sentimental or something.
but truly,
i just cant help this feelings.
i cant even control it.

but i know,
u always remind me that at times,
i have to be independent.
at times,
i can be clingy with him BUT NOT ALL THE time.

baby,
when u said something about our future,
i know i didnt say anything much.
im afraid
im too afraid too even think about it or worse,to type it here.

maybe this song can wrap it.

crap,
im madly in love.

im taking a long time to read my Eclipse.
i will end up falling in love with Edward Cullen instead of Ahmad Nurdaiyan.
=)

2009-03-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

believe it or not,
this are one of the scene in New Moon.
" Cliff Diving"

2009-03-16T11:32:00.002+08:00

he does have that vampire aura.
hahahaha.
i have been reading the twilight sequel
and my life has been surrounded by the calm and wet condition of Forks city.
my eyes has been seeing bella and edward.
ok,
im in my own world of fantasy.

i found my happiness there.
coz for the few weeks i have been very upset,
but its just that i can never get it out of my heart.
thanks to recessions,
im having a hard time finding a part time job.
haiz.

i have been spending my time at home,
googling finding cool stuff & finding ideas for my own life
finding ways for my band to kick start too.

im going away for awhile.
will be back soon.

2009-03-12T11:06:00.002+08:00

the holidays is fun.
but i miss them.

ernie,agno,shawna,natasha m & everyone lar
i miss you all lar.
and i have been coming back to sch just to fill up my time
rather than wasting time at home.
weeeeeeeeee...

gt a few projs coming along
so yuh,
let's rock n roll...

hubby has been such a sweetheart.
its my duty to fetch him after work since thts the only time i cld see him
other than that,
we have nt been gg out really.

he is such a sweetheart to take a day off on saturday
so that he could spend the time with me at

.......................

will update the photos of where im gonna spend my weekend.=)

and to agno,
life has been rough for you lately,
remember to keep your faith.
things happened for a reason tau.

2009-03-07T14:42:00.002+08:00

im very upset.
no.
super upset.

but i dont care.
maybe its my fault or theirs.
but whatever it is.
i believe it has a reason behind it.

meeting new friends is fun.
found a great friend when sch is almost ending.
haiya.

but i know,
things happened for a reason.

hubby has been great.
agno has been great.
shawna has been great.
natasha has been great.
ernie has been great.
haha.

i think i miss you all.
i dont care abt the downfall coz i know somethings are just not worth it.

ok.
Holland V is a new beginning.
weeeeeeeeeee...

2009-03-04T23:39:00.002+08:00

it has been a long time since i last blogged.
projects hectic is over now.
im having holidays
and now frantically finding for jobs.

im turning 2o this year,
and guess what,
it wasnt easy for me.
really.

i began to be more particular about my body shape
but i still eat alot since now i love the Lasagne.

im much more into facial stuff and hand cream stuff.

im like loving shopping more than i ever was.

im more into expressing myself out.

im like in a party mood.

i go out more often nowadays.

andnow,im like trying hard to make a difference in my life,well that motto has been stuck with me when i was a HOUGEAN.

and a few thgs i need to change myself.
be responsible,independent and not be lazy.

its time for me to lift off that burden from both my parents
though they didnt really approve of me working,
i think its time for me to grow up.
i shud not be dependent on them anymore
though they still pamper me alot unknowingly.
and yet i still get the most scoldings.
haiz.

i cant believe im 20 soon.
20 long years of life.
and i believe it has been really hard for me.

and along the way,
im more than happy to have met him.
we may fight sometimes,
but baby
its your strength and believe in me that guide me through.

alhamdulillah,
i met you in this life.

and to my parents,
i am super stubborn and lazy,
but i know i will do my chores very well,
and you guys pamper me alot since i was young.

dont scold me alot now ok? hahahahah

and to my bestfriend baru,
im here now to help you guide through your life
ok ranger merah. =)

2009-02-19T16:55:00.003+08:00

you dont know how much i miss you terribly.

2009-02-19T16:55:00.002+08:00

' biar orang buat jahat kat kita, jangan kita sekali-sekali balas dengan dendam'

i believe in this.
holding on to my leftover faith.
sometimes people forget their roots.

hardwork and pressure will always lead to somewhere.

insyallah.
kesabaran itu separuh dengan iman.

i pray to him
to help me lead through this harsh life.
coz i know i believe in success in my life.

and hubby?
will you stand by me?

2009-02-19T16:02:00.004+08:00

studio project has stole my social life.
and im thankful that hubby has been so supportive for me.
i love you sweety.

one more day to weekend.
and im so going on a holiday with him.
just you & me baby.
we will spend our quality time together.

i love you sweetheart.

2009-02-18T21:18:00.001+08:00

knowing the fact that i lost all my photos from 2006 till now.
it hurts me so bad.
especially when i lost all our photos dear.
im fighting hard not too cry.
and just forget about it just like you said.
we can still take pictures again right baby?

=,(
i miss you

2009-02-16T21:21:00.002+08:00

for the first time of the month,
i didnt get to meet with him. =(
he's busy with exams and im with proj.as usual.
and i end up in my kazen's house so i cant wait to stack myself on top of her.
haha.

ok.
i miss you dear.

2009-02-10T23:57:00.001+08:00

i find the serenity in him.
i find the calm in him.
if it wasnt for him,
i believe i would have lose it.

2009-02-08T23:05:00.003+08:00

omg.
i seriously ate alot during my hbo project.
s**t.
i gained alot of weight.=D

im trying hard to lose weight now.

ouh yuh,
btw,
saturday's beach with hot stuffs was extremly fun.
food,drinks,water,sand,sun,camwhore,jokes & hot stuff.

thank you ernie for your photos.
love ya gf.

2009-02-06T21:09:00.002+08:00

today,
he called me kura-kura.

tmr,
he will call me terrapin

the next day,
he will call me tortoise.

the following day,
he will call me turtle.

the following-following day,
he's gonna call me ninja turtle.

wanna know why,

coz im gonna beat him up.
hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahah.

hey,
im not always slow eh.

2009-02-06T08:51:00.003+08:00

when he walks,
he took my breath away,
when he smiles,
he melts my heart away,

and when he look into my eyes,
i turn into liquid.

i didnt know that you have been there for me.
i didnt know that u actually exist in my life.
you are so beautiful.

take my hand and bring me into your life.
coz i've been so in love with you.

hush,
you'll be my secret lover.
and no one will know.
trust me love.

i love you
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Shane West

2009-02-03T03:59:00.005+08:00

dear love,
i miss the old times when we first met.
i miss those butterflies moments,
my shyness to look into your eyes

i miss those times when you were just looking at me,
i miss those times that you took chances to be with me.

dear love,
i may be a difficult gf at times.
well at times,
but no matter how angry i am,
how pissed off i am with you,
and even when i wanted to run from you,
please remember,
my heart will stay in your heart.
coz i can never leave.

i think i love my pms.
hahahahaha.
i didnt realised tht my pms is actually sending a msg to me tht im missing somethg in my life but i can never get it out.
i cry whenever i have my pms to make for the old time tht i couldn't cry.
i get angry easily for those thgs i was supposed to be mad before but i just couldnt.

i think its fun.=)

2009-02-01T21:06:00.001+08:00

dear love,

suddenly i miss the night that we had over at zoukout.

can we ever experience it again?

i miss you.

2009-01-30T13:18:00.000+08:00

i think i want to let it go.
coz for all i care,
im getting bored with it.

2009-01-23T22:44:00.003+08:00

for the first time ever,
i reached school at 955pm
and guess what,
i was ALL ALONE.

do you know how scared i was.
terribly.
i swear i was shivering for 30mins
and on top of that,
i clean the dirty classroom just to calm myself down.
but i hate the loneliness.
i kept calling shawna and agnotti

how i wish i can shiver till i fell asleep.

only they know how scared i was.
thanks to theodora's fren
she accompanied me while waiting for the others to reach school.

we're shooting tomorrow at 7am
and we have to be there around 630am just in time to catch the sunrise.

other than that,
im hurt.

2009-01-21T21:23:00.003+08:00

DHUAZA BATUCADA
re-live from below.

we are busking out this saturday
24/01/09

support us.
we have come a long way down the street.

and yuh,
many things to do.
alhamdulillah
it is still manageable.

and ernie.
press on.
we will be there for you always.=)

2009-01-17T22:09:00.002+08:00

i had fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun and ultimate fun with my group.

best lar korang.
fun nye......=)

but when hubby came,
the fun goes to the next level.
i love you baby.

2009-01-11T22:24:00.001+08:00

i feel relaxed now
after a hectic week.

2009-01-06T21:25:00.001+08:00

maybe you don't know how much i misses you.

new year's eve show at greek's theatre

2009-01-04T00:24:00.003+08:00

credits:zatregas's photos.

in collabo with upbeats percussions.
though the stage was small,
we rock'ed the stage.

but,
pictures were limited.

atleast there's some for us to remember.=)

2009-01-03T23:17:00.003+08:00

Dauzz said this on friday,

i was on the phone with hubby,
and when i hang up,
he said this

"eh fiza,matair kau manja ehk?"

and i replied

"a'ah"
though i dont think my guy is pampered.

then i asked him

"asal? kau nk aku manjakan kau?"

and he with his 'tak malu attitude' replied

"boleh jgk"

hahaha.
gatal.

but today,
after i hung up on the phone with hubby,
i realised that after 3 solid years,
hubby was exceptionally manja with me,

he loves the attention.
do guys crave attention?
hmmm i wonder,
well my guys does.....

but like i said to my frens,
when we girls involved in a r/s
we tends to splurge our money on them.
i swear coz i just love to doll my hubby from head to knee.
well except the toes,
coz his shoes are way too expensive for me to buy..
hahaha
guys,
love branded shoes.

whatever it is,
having someone to be next to you is the best gift from GOD,
to love and to cherish
to seek support & secure...

it makes me feel that im in good hands.

love is beautiful
love is life
love is your heartbeat
that penetrates into your soul.

2009-01-03T20:59:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year people.

a new year and a brand new beginning.

i love you hubby.

2008-12-30T14:55:00.004+08:00

damn im beginning to like him so much.

i miss him,
i miss his dazzling eyes staring at me,
i miss his smile melted my heart away,

i miss his hugs
his voice,
his warmth,
his strong arms,

his love.

2008-12-29T23:34:00.002+08:00

ouh yuh.
on the 20th, we busks with UPB.

2008-12-29T23:01:00.001+08:00

amazingly
when we decided to do it,
great things comes along.

and this has been happening for the past 1/2 years.
alhamdulillah.

2008-12-29T00:08:00.000+08:00

hubby and i have 2 big projs coming up.

yes!

2008-12-28T20:40:00.002+08:00

ok
i've been using some musical terms

to ernie,
fortissimo means very fast
legato means "lenggok" in malay or the closest terms is procastination

hahahaha.

i've been spending in 2days.
a new wallet,a nail polish and a new pair of pants.
and i spend the last day of holidays walking arnd in town alone.

maybe to think abt things and to have space for myself from everything else.

i miss the old days with you.

2008-12-27T22:58:00.003+08:00

maybe going in fortissismo rate is a not a smooth choice,
how about legato,
aha,

legato.
i think it shud be fine.
i love to procastinate though

i think doing something and hoping for something in return is not a good choice
i shud stop the f**k out of it.
maybe i shud just do it for myself.
i need that badly.

and i'll do it sincerely
coz revenge is out of my list.

i am very very very angry with you know who.
hmph.

2008-12-26T01:18:00.002+08:00

for those who have faith in dhuaza since 2 years go,
i love you all
but those who dont give a shit and 'buih-ing' us all the time
then F**K YOU.

ok,
that stress is over.
like some people say,
only when we are out there,
people will be crawling back to us.
and i dont care,
im not gonna give a f**king shit about them.
we may not be outstanding yet,
but i know
we will....
insyaallah.

haiz,

hubby accompanied me to return the lib books
and we walked around,
hubby bought 2 new nice shirts
while i suffer in silence."im totally broke"

i aimed at this jewellery
its so nice and beautiful,
hubby offered to buy it for me,
but i said no.
hahaha
i know what you think.

i have been sick
and my works are like lagging
but i know i can do it.
push it more.

like i said,
i'm a juggling a proj,an assignment,relationship and holidays all at one go

i swear after this current one,
im not gonna take all this shit again,
its just not my calling.

well,
i've decided to enrol in music courses.
so yuh.=)

im like going fortissimo in my life

2008-12-23T21:38:00.000+08:00

im going through a heart bypass today,
dont worry
i will be fine coz i believe i wont feel anything at all in the future.
its for my own good.

just dont ask me about it.

zoukout 08

2008-12-20T21:57:00.000+08:00

ZOUKOUT 08 WAS GREAT WITH HUBBY

i like it when there is no much crowd.
at least there is more space for me to walk.

the night was hectic,fun,the full moon,the dance,the experience,the sunrise,the beach
it has been a week
and i can never forget the night we had,
it was truly a new experience for us,
making us coming out from our comfort zone,

though i had to pay for the last tix price
i want to be there with you,
surprising you,
and its worth the experience

hubby,
i will always be there supporting you.
coz i love you so much.

2008-12-19T20:16:00.000+08:00

it has been a long time since i blogged.
ok,
life is getting tougher.
projs is getting harder,
brain is getting weaker,

and im becoming a procastinator.

i love what im doing right now,
but my creative juice is no more
i know im not creative but i kept pushing myself to go off the limits,
break my own boundary
but there's too much consequences once i did that,

my r/s is getting on a rough pace,
i cant seem to be happy
but i've tried hard to make it work between us.

i dont want to blame anythg coz i know i want it,
but i dont want my r/s to get sour.

he has been there for me
supporting me,
though sometimes he was too much,
i know he's craving for me.
i know he wants my attention like before.

but the funy thing is,
i love what im doing right now,
but its just the ideas im f**king slow at right now.

i know i wasn't born to be super creative,
but i do believe i was born to make it happen.
and yes i will.

insyaallah.

i miss spending time with beda.
haha.
and hubby too,
we have not seeing each other properly.

2008-12-13T11:57:00.001+08:00

http://www.kosmicfilm.com.sg/events_bugislns.html

check out this website.
we were featured.

yea!

good job dhuaza.

2008-12-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

i thought i was making the right decision
i thought i could make it through.

by letting go something that is precious,
is my first ever step for the first time.

i had to let it go,
coz i know i really cant have it all like before.

i was so sick ytd & today
but i had no choice but to stay over in school
thanks to rina and agno
for the funny night.

im depending on my own to go through this,
its not easy
but i understand.
i just love doing it,but i hate the rejecting part.'

hahaha.
its not easy you know...

i can do this.

2008-12-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

what can be the most sweetest day today.

i was so packed with school works,
and didnt manage my time to spend anny with baby,

but he never fails to surprise me.
and yuh,
by lying and sneaking out of the house to meet me
and surprise me by waiting at the mrt.

a cake with a candle to celebrate the anny
just to make this day perfect.

it was indeed a sweet surprise baby.
so thoughtful of you.

i love you

2008-12-09T08:10:00.000+08:00

Happy 29th Anniversary Baby
I love you so much.
You will do just fine with your common test.
trust me ok?

i love you.
im sorry we cant celebrate it together today,
but i know you wouldnt mind,
i promise i will make it up to you during weekends ok baby?
i love you...

and some other random things in my head.
i cant seem to get this things out of my head,
i am over it but it just left me wondering,
what is so good about it?
i'm trying hard to understand it,
but maybe,
i tried toooo hard to even think about this shit.

i dont care.

have fun.

2008-12-08T08:19:00.001+08:00

selamat hari raya aidiladha kawan-kawan

i love you baby.

2008-12-06T12:35:00.000+08:00

my pet loves to visit hubby's pet.
basically i visit him all the time.
haha

2008-12-05T20:38:00.001+08:00

it has been decades since i last blogged.

HA.HA.HA

yeah right.
ok.
been busy with YR stuff.
well i cant believe it that im in that project.
ok.
it is very stress though!!!!
but i had fun actually
despite the datelines,
i love doing it.
hahahahahahaha

fun lar sey when ideas kena reject.
hahaha
i dont know,
i just had fun in that proj.

hubby has been very supportive and understanding
though he was left alone,
but i'll always make sure that i will never neglect you ok baby?

hubby promised to bring me out tomorrow
yeah!!
he wanted me to leave all the works and just have fun with him.
thank you for taking care of me baby..
i love you.

ok back to work.

2008-11-30T13:33:00.001+08:00

im stress
but i dont think you were there.

it was just words.
nothing else

memories

2008-11-25T07:48:00.000+08:00

this is the pics of DHUAZA's founding members
back then
there were only 3 grps that were active as percussions grp down the street.

it has been 2years
and dhuaza is still learning and bonding.
insyaallah.

Dhuaza

2008-11-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

Dhuaza had a blast last saturday.
will update more.

picture grabbed from ernie's sis blog.

2008-11-19T22:12:00.000+08:00

i feel that i can see lights of hope in my life
though im struggling still
i can feel that my life is changing for the better.

insyallah.

2008-11-19T00:00:00.000+08:00

i love you

2008-11-18T15:18:00.001+08:00

sometimes i believe that some people are just jealous about things

or maybe,
they are just suckers.

some people are humble
but you guys will never know what are their strengths is.
because ALLl of you are too busy claiming for fame.

2008-11-17T23:31:00.001+08:00

im totally shagged.

but i believe i can pull this through.
hubby,
im here with you.

we'll do just fine ok.
we got to believe.

i love you

2008-11-15T06:12:00.000+08:00

i'll be missing you baby

JOKE OF THE DAY

2008-11-13T20:28:00.000+08:00

there is this cute sweet girl
who loves to overlook things
so this happy cute girl
happily pack her two big bags
and off she went for a holiday

she got off the checkpoint safely
but disaster struck to this sweet little girl when her passport has long expired.
she had to leave all her family
and was send home.

so poor little sweet girl
was send home.
she felt like crying

at the checkpoint
the passport checker was looking at her cute passport
and the girll told him she was refuse entry to another country
and suddenly,
he act cute in front of the too cute girl
and ask the cute girl to sit beside him
he was trying to flirt with the sweet girl.
while waiting for the officer to fetch the girl.

after clarifying the stupid doubts in the custom office.
the cute girl walk to the nearest makan place and had dinner.

and she felt like she's a traveller in her own country with 2 big bags to carry.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ok.
im meeting hubby later.

2008-11-13T15:52:00.001+08:00

2008-11-12T00:33:00.000+08:00

i do believe deep down,
i cant see any shine of happiness in my life.

even if i changed for the better,
it was not appreciated.

i give up.
even if im upset, no one will be there.

*im doing a music therapy on myself.

2008-11-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

2008-11-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

why cant the world of tv shows be more positive?
i hate watching shows with polygamy,triangle love,stupid sacrifices
and all those f**k up shit.

why cant the world be like high school musical?
why cant we have a normal happy show?
with love,joy and happiness?
why cant we appreciate our first ever love?

that first love was a blessing from GOD for us to lead a happy life?
whats with all the polygamy??

baby,
i love you.
we may not have the answer now.
but both of us know whats in our heart.

2008-11-06T04:19:00.001+08:00

time checked: 4.20am

me and my other peeps has been staying up the whole night doing the podcasting .
all of us are like overnighting at MSN
keeping each other motivated.

im almost done with animatics.
eyes are like sagging
hanging on for dear eyes.
shudnt have not rest so much
and procastinating alot.

hubby is such a baby,
put him to sleep hours ago,
coz i dont want him to stay up for me.

lets just hope the effort for presentation is not a waste.
*cross fingers

hubby,
i miss you

2008-11-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

when things was almost perfect,
some stuff had to disrupt that harmony.

'when we almost had our hands touch, strong winds had to pull us apart'

Baby, when can i have a dance with you?

2008-11-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

im gonna miss high school musical.
SENIOR YEAR was awesome!

hubby was right,
i miss sec badly,
i miss our carefree days,
where nothing seems so stress except EXAMS.

AND NOW ITS GONE.
we're in poly and the feelings isnt the same.
i feel like crying.

' everything about me is going fast, i really wanted it to slow down, appreciate every single moment of it'
baby,
can we have this dance to a bright future?

ALL THUMBS UP FOR HSM3.
it's worth the money.

Hubby,I Love You

2008-11-03T19:56:00.000+08:00

FORGET ABOUT MY FRUSTRATION TODAY!

i have my pms.
ouh yeah. it was cramping my style today.
ok.
forget about negative things today.
i hate it.

let's start things positively.
this entry is dedicated to hubby

it has been a week since you turned 19 baby
and definitely you look gorgeous on your big day.

started the day by getting late on his bdae.
woops.
fetch him at MRT.

Hubby thought we are going to Vivo just to walk around but i've surprised him with a ticket to sentosa.

And eventually surprised him by taking him to the Underwater World!
he has not been to underwater world before.
and he was like 'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.... besarnya ikan' ....'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.....besarnya turtle tu'.....'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah besar sey fish tank dia' and he was like so eager to get in !
hahahah..
you are so cute sweety.

you can see how happy he is in the above pic.

after all the fun,
we had our early dinner over at BREEKS.

this is where the BEST surprise.
i know i've promised that i will not get you a PSP
and i gave you alot of excuses why you shud not get a psp.
let the fun rolls.

surprise baby!
i love you so much.
remember to manage your time well now. =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETYPIE.
I LOVE YOU

though you knew i was very upset about today plus my cramps,
it was thoughtful of you to bring me out to watch HSM SENIOR YEAR
i felt much better baby,

this world has been great when im with you.
i love you.

2008-11-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

why do i miss you so much?
why do i miss hugging you badly?
why do i miss seeing you?
why do i miss holding your hands and walking down the streets?
why do i cry whenever i think of you?
why do i need you badly?
why do i miss having you talking to me sweetly?
why do i crave for you?

why do i love you so much?

i'm done

2008-11-01T20:41:00.000+08:00

whenever you send me home
and wanted me to watch you off,
i've always counted to 5
hoping you will turn back.

you used to turn back to look at me.

maybe not now,
maybe not so soon.

" things are yet to be mend, love are meant to find each other"

2008-11-01T09:08:00.000+08:00

believe it or not.
she sings.
do all actress ended up singing?

2008-10-31T23:26:00.000+08:00

savings was finally over.
and i bought ipod classic from a friend.
30GB.
2nd hand though.
but the conditions is great.
cool or what.
yeah!

and yuh this is random,
suddenly i feel like uploading this photo.

picture taken many2 months back
when me and sis trying out our band's uniform.

and you can see two aliens behind us.(hubby and my bro)
hahahah

seling sales

2008-10-31T15:06:00.000+08:00

when i was living in frustration for awhile
great thins came along

some times i thot life is playing games with me.
i loike.

ouh yuh.
im selling my orange ipod shuffle and my audio technica headphone.

1GB orange ipod shuffle with charger-$40
good conditions.

audio technica headphone-$20
good conditions.brand new.
worn once.
still under warranty.

you can purchased both.

tag me if you want.

2008-10-29T00:03:00.000+08:00

ok.
first of all,
yes ERNIE,
i was at OKTO live for bloco singapura.
he's performing.

orang sakit jauh berjalan sebab si diatu nk kita kt sana. kesian dia. sorang2.
merengek2.hahahah
no lar.

ok.
beda told me about PR?
what the hell was it about?
why cant people choose based on abilities?
i mean i dont deny they have abilities.
but
cant you give others a chance?
you promised us.

why cant i be relak one corner without creating any prob and do my thing?
i mean i interact at times.
but some people is always making face at me.
WTF?????

i think i hate most of the HOMOSAPIENS .
except
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

hahaha
homosapiens.
F**k

i think im turning haywire
and wrong.
i think my world is dark
but during those bright days,
i want to thank those who have been there for me.

i can never unds myself.
i dont have any inspirations.
my world is crumbling down.

i think i should overdosed myself right now.
so that i will have a long sleep.

2008-10-27T21:28:00.001+08:00

i miss hubby terribly.

Deal OR No Deal

2008-10-26T01:00:00.000+08:00

Time Check: 1am

hubby is fast asleep.
he is so adorable.
he sleeps like a baby.
syg dia.

suddenly,
i felt that my life is evolving into a bright day ahead.
with great crazy friends around.
exciting proj.
exciting lessons
and most important is,
hubby and me is doing great together.

now i really appreciates what my lecturers have been saying to me direct or indirectly.

ITS HOW WE DEAL WITH THE MATTER. NOT GETTING IT THE WAY YOU WANT.

before,
i thought some were total biased.
they only see me missed classes and they thot im slacking.
but they didnt see my freaking hardwork.
and i end up slack like f**k.
hahaha

but then when i think back,
its a good thing,
if not i wouldnt have realised it.

and guess what,
when i hve stopped searching, things just keep knocking on DHUAZA'S door.
alhamdullilah...

i will update about these shows ok guys.

i may not get what i want right now,
but i will prove to them that
even slackers succeed. =)

2008-10-24T22:00:00.000+08:00

when my day was turning perfect,
my thumbrive went missing

F**K
F**K
F**K
F**K

why?
why?
why?

UUUURGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2008-10-24T13:01:00.000+08:00

im meeting my peeps later at 4pm.
sketching again.
hope it doesnt rain again.

and yuh,
actually school was fun
amazing HUH.
hahahahahaha

and lessons was fun too except the tecnical classes.
damn im like gundu.

hahahaha

ok.
i miss hubby very much.
i have lots of photos to upload but yuh.
not now.
but i have some now to share.

from this,

to this.

hubby has grown so much when i first met him.
he really eats alot when he's with me
he was damn skinny and 'boncit'les before
from no goatee days ...till he grows goatee now.
but now.......aha!
well,
let's just say he's well fed.
hahahaha.

and yuh,
speaking of him.
im gonna miss you baby.
i promise we will meet this sunday ok.
and i bet you gonna have your best bdae ever.

i promise you.

and yuh,
this year was our first year celebrating raya together
wearing the same color of baju kurung.

i love you sweetheart.

found this photo taken 2 years ago.
it was during our flirting days.
hahaha

After Visual Effect Class

2008-10-20T16:58:00.000+08:00

my geng in crime since school starts.
havoc or what!!

and Dauzz act cool.

i miss flirting with you

2008-10-20T01:54:00.000+08:00

i miss flirting with you.
when how we steal looks,
the way you smile at me,
the way you ask me out,
the way how you make me laugh,
and the way how you propose to me.

i miss our flirting days.
can we have it back?
and do it again so that the feeling won't die?

can we baby?

2008-10-19T18:00:00.001+08:00

now im not important to you anymore.
anything you got,
keep it to yourself.
of course lar you are the PRO what!

apalagi! hidung tinggi lar!!

no need to tell me anything
coz you are not worth telling me anythimg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i've promised that when you need me,
i swear i wont be there when you need me the most.
so enjoy your 'PRO'ness

2008-10-18T10:34:00.000+08:00

for once i thought i was alone.
but hey,
i've realised that i have you guys!

and sketching with you guys was uber fun plus the camwhoring too.
all photos taken credits to ERNIE GF.

Ernie GF & me.
cute right?
hehe

2008-10-17T16:41:00.000+08:00

this no shit.
im in love with him.
ok.
my 2nd boyfriend people.

i present to you
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RYAN REYNOLDS
he's hot.

recap

2008-10-17T15:19:00.000+08:00

once hubby told me that i had a perfect life.
but now.
im saying this to you.

baby,
you are having the perfect life now.
everything you want is in place. perfect.no mistakes.
i envy you.

my life is messed up now.
complicated.
i dont even know why am i still in this shit.
but like u said before dear,
sometimes,
things are not the way you want it.
and i have to suck up all those f**k up comments and change it to positive aspects.

f**k it.
im gonna find my way through.
i am still mad about rizal.
hahaha.
my idol.
but hubby is my inspirations.

i will succeed.
maybe not now. but soon.

what makes you think that turning 19 is cool.

ok.

raya with some dhuaza people.
more to come.

2008-10-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

sometimes when i build something with hardwork,
somebody else got noticed,
haiz.
it wouldnt kill to spare a thought for it
isnt it?

RAYA08 & Friends

2008-10-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

(more photos will be uploaded soon)

ok.
last saturday,
went out raya-ing with 15 old friends.
cool shit.
there were only 4 vogue girls.
cute lar kn.

ouh yuh.
after school today.
went out with hubby.
and he bought himself a new bag.

happy man is when he bought his new bag.
cute lar u syg.
muackx
i feel terribly sick now.

but wth am i still sitting i front of after effects?
first day of school & no life.
haiz.

atleast you make my day dear.

still trying

2008-10-12T22:31:00.000+08:00

i think im trying too hard to make friends
i think im trying too hard to get a life
i think im trying too hard to be a good girlfriend.

that's it.
i had enough.

'trying' season is over.

2008-10-10T21:38:00.001+08:00

no matter what

i will still love hubby very very much

2008-10-10T12:59:00.000+08:00

have you ever thought that when you have been there for someone
do you want them to be there for you too like the way you did to them?

what if that someone bailed on you
when you needed someone so badly?
what if you were too stressed up but you dont know whats the reason for it.
will you be ok when someone said " its ok you will be fine, lets go to sleep?"
do you think you want them to ask you more or say the most soothing words to you?

or do you cry and tremble the whole night alone?

do you want someone to be patience with you no matter how long it takes when you are down?
or do you think its annoying them?
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forget it.

aku retro

2008-10-07T00:51:00.000+08:00

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Long due photos

2008-10-06T13:34:00.000+08:00

the young ones in the family.

me and my sis ayu. she's bugging me to take a photo with her.

ayu and her brother.ok.my irritating brother too.

my big happy family.

the girls in the house.

kazen nina and me.

PCD

2008-09-30T02:08:00.001+08:00

yes ar!
pussycat dolls new album!
yabedabedoooooooooooooooooooooooo.

ESOK RAYA

2008-09-30T02:07:00.001+08:00

watched this full.
very entertaining.
and cute.

selamat hari raya semua.

love-sick

2008-09-27T17:18:00.001+08:00

hubby is AWAY again!
and im all alone.
i miss you.

anyway,
spring cleaning the house.
thats the least i could do to make the time pass.

future in my future?

2008-09-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

had a chat about future with hubby,
but it turns out to be heartbreaking for me.

till now,
i wonder,
what am i?
what am i good at?
what my blood drives me to do?

i envy hubby,
i envy anyone who got talents
coz i dont.

i have to work hard and strive for it.

i love music
i love designs
but hubby said,
im more into designs.
but i love music
i want to play music well
but i just dont have the abilities to execute my music rhythm well.
i just cant do it.

my designs.
i find it sucks
but i have my own style of doing it.
i hate thinking.
so whatever designs i have is thoughtless.
hahaha.

been playing with different kinds of mediums.
so tonight im playing with water color.

hubby gave me an advice.
to some people,it can be insulting.
it was to me,
but it makes me think for myself
and i find it true.

" WHAT'S THE POINT HAVING THE LOOKS BUT THERE'S NOTHING IN YOUR BRAIN"

sometimes im frustrated with my life.
i hate going home.
get scolded for something that was supposed to be meant for others.
held a big responsibility on my own.

i wish i could earn a scholarship to overseas
study and stay there
so i wouldnt have to come home.

but sometimes,
being emotinal kills me.

hubby said that 'every word is a prayer'
i just want to feel happy and when im sad, i am still happy.
coz when i fall,
i learn to get up and prove it that I HAVE THE LOOKS AND THE BRAIN.
even i am ego,
i have myself to back me up and support myself.
and the reason im ego
because im sick and tired of people who loves to take advantage of me.

IFTAR

2008-09-26T00:40:00.000+08:00

i didnt know having to break-fast with dhuaza
can be fun.
we ate at beach road.

xpecially beda.

you just have to grab in the nuts.

beda was terribly bullied.

hubby cam-whoring in the train.

hubby took this randomly and it looks awesome.
i like.

friends or foe?

2008-09-24T00:31:00.000+08:00

im sitting on my bed.
thinking.
i have lots of things running through my mind
but i dont want to say it out.

i miss friends.
i miss having friends.
but i love the way i am now.
but i miss friends.

however
i think im dumb enuf to realise that i have friends
well i am friends with adults.
hahaha
dhuaza is my friends.
mgbd is my friends.
YABEDA is my friend but she's busy baking.
haha.

i think i've lost the will to make friends.
as im turning BIG 2 in the front nxt year,
i have changed a lot of my life styles and friends.

anyway
made the biggest change in my life
and for the preparation of celebrating BIG 2 nxt yr.
i cant believe it.

haha
and hubby,
sorry i cant upload the picture.
its not clear.

and i know you are reading it now.
so
i love you

break-fast here?

2008-09-20T21:44:00.001+08:00

im looking forward to it.
i dont know with when.

thanks lynn for the incredible idea.

2008-09-20T18:30:00.000+08:00

is it me or is my heart is really breaking?
is it me or my stupid instincts?
is it me or i just couldnt trust anymore?

uuuurgh
guide me through this.
please.

someone,
get me out of this misery.

Boring Saturday

2008-09-20T18:13:00.000+08:00

and dhuaza,
we will break-fast together real soon.

TGIF

2008-09-19T18:55:00.000+08:00

ok its the 3rd week of holidays.
damn how time flies this fast.
i was busy with school and students.
and im slacking.
woots.

took 2days off from work
im so shagged but yuh.
i love my job.
though kids can get on my nerves
but hey,
i need to be stern.and fierce.

haha.

planning to go to sentosa to break-fast just like alyn and her bf
but i think its far for us.

ok.
preparing dinner now.
toodles.